How to Make a Manwich
There are sandwiches and there are manwiches. Sandwiches are dainty little things designed to fill a hole when you’re a tad peckish. A manwich is anything but dainty, it requires architectural thought and principles to ensure structural integrity. Manwiches are often turned to at a time of need, perhaps after a night of excessive celebration or to commiserate a national cricket team being made to look foolish by their old foe. Manwiches come in many shapes and types but there are some elements that must be met to make your sandwich a manwich.
(1) Meat – Predictably a manwich requires meat. There is no such thing as a salad manwich or an alfafa sprout manwich. If you can combine multiple meats then it’s a manwich with a capital ‘M’.
(2) Three tiers – 2 slices of bread is fine for a sandwich but a manwich and all that it contains needs 3 slices to meet the standard. The third slice of bread allows for an extra element and mops up any potential trouser staining juices
(3) Looks of repulsion – You know you’re eating a manwich when people can’t bear to look at you as you plough through it. It’s messy, it’s greasy, it’s spilling out, it’s everything a man is and wants to be.
(4) Melted cheese – All great manwiches require a layer of melted cheese. It doesn’t matter if it complements the other ingredients, it’s a binding agent, other things stick to it and it sticks to other things, like your arteries and your heart. The cheese should be hot enough to blister the roof of your mouth.
(5) Pickled – Manwiches require a pickled element, be it beetroot, gherkins, sauerkraut or just a good dousing of vinegar. The pickle also provides a healthy vegetable element, unless you use vinegar.
(6) Condiments – Men love sauce, sauce of all kinds. Lashings of sauce that spills over the edge and finds its way to the crotch of your trousers is essential for a manwich. Tomato sauce, BBQ Sauce, Mayonnaise, Sweet Chilli Sauce, Mustard, Brown Sauce, take your pick.
My go to manwich is The Reuben, it ticks all the above boxes leaving you wanting more every time. It’s a favourite in the Deli’s of New York and demands a side serve of fries and a cold pale ale to wash it all down.
Ingredients (Makes 1)
Several slices corned beef or pastrami
3 slices rye of bread, lightly toasted
Butter, for spreading
A big dollop of sauerkraut, warmed after squeezing out the water
A few slices of Swiss cheese
A pickled gherkin, sliced
Spread 2 pieces of toast with butter and the other with mustard. Pile the meat on the buttered toast, followed by the sauerkraut and then the cheese. Place it under the grill until the cheese has melted, then top with pickle. Stack the three slices on top of each other with the mustard slice getting the top bunk. Cut it in half and take a moment to marvel at it in all its glory. Dislocate your lower jaw and gentle push the manwich inside.