It’s Time to Come Out of my Closet
This week I joked about having a works Christmas party with Max; we’d get smashed on apple juice, eat our body weight in carrot sticks, embarrass ourselves on the dance floor to “The Wheels on The Bus”, say something regretful to the boss (Max) and try to kiss my colleague (Anna), which let’s face it is just another day in the office. On Tuesday night Anna informed me that the next morning I would be flying to Sydney to have dinner with all the lovely ladies from the agency I’m fortunate enough to be with. I have never flown somewhere for dinner before, I sometimes struggle to muster the energy to make it to the takeaway at the end of our road.
Forget about blogging these are some very impressive people that exude confidence and brilliance in equal measures. I find it a little daunting going from being Dad Matt who spends his days marching to the beat of Max’s drum to Matt Matt who isn’t indulged as often as he should be but can still remember how to have a good time if necessary. What will I say? Which poor sod will have to sit next to me and get Max stories with their dinner? Will Mrs Woog devour me in one gulp or two? These are the sort of questions and doubts that I make a habit of burdening myself with.
I took my place at the dinner table, a guy amongst gals or a thorn in a bed of roses as someone cruelly dubbed me. Margaritas and wonderful company are the perfect antidote to nerves and self doubt and I had a brilliant night full of laughter and chit chat. Whenever I sit down with anyone from this tight knit group of people I learn from them. Sometimes I’ll glean a blogging tip but usually it’s just about observing them and seeing people who exude confidence, are comfortable in their skin and keep their glasses topped at half full. Blogging is a lonely business and doing it with the support of others is priceless.
My head was full of thoughts again on the way home but this time it was full of ideas, excitement and inspiration. I felt like I had devoured a bookshelf full of self help manuals, really, really good ones. I was forced to concede that my life has been unbalanced for some time now and it’s not working for me, for three years it’s all been about Max and now I’m ready to rediscover myself. I’ll still be aiming for Dad of the Year but I also want to be Husband of the Year and Me of the Year, because I’m greedy like that.
The blog has also reflected that, it’s been very Max and Dad focused and I want to breathe some new energy into it (and me), give the little guy a break and start revealing a bit more of who I am and what I love. It won’t be too dramatic, it’ll have the same style of writing, still offering up a parent anecdote or two, because that is a big part of who I am but not suppressing all the other bits that get me excited. I’m hoping a happy blogger who wants to come out of his closet will make for good reading.
Merry Christmas everybody.